First-time people manager: how to make tough decisions based on moral values.

I have been a people manager for a good chunk of my career in advertising, and I can tell you with certainty: the hardest part of the job is not strategy, not client management, not even budget negotiations. It is making decisions that you know will make someone unhappy — possibly including yourself.

Early in my management career in Singapore, I had to decide whether to promote someone I was personally close to. This person was a good friend, a loyal team member, and someone I genuinely liked spending time with. But their work output was not at the level the role demanded. I spent weeks agonizing over it, looking for ways to justify the promotion. In the end, I did not promote them. It was the right call for the team, but it cost me that friendship for a while. That experience taught me something I still carry: tough decisions are not about being popular. They are about doing what you believe is right, even when it hurts.

The kinds of decisions that keep you up at night

If you are a first-time manager, here is what you might face sooner than you think:

• Standing up for a junior team member in front of your boss
• Not promoting or giving a bonus to someone you have a great personal relationship with
• Communicating a steep budget cut or layoff
• Acknowledging your own mistake in front of your bosses and team members
• Telling the truth even when it makes you look weak or wrong
• Making a U-turn from a decision you already committed to publicly

None of these are comfortable. I think a lot of managers try to delay, or they dress up procrastination as "being considerate" or "wanting more data." Ron Carucci wrote about this well in his article "Leaders, Stop Avoiding Hard Decisions" — he points out that excuses like "I want to be seen as fair" or "I am committed to quality and accuracy" are often just ways to avoid the discomfort. That last one is especially tricky because, as a manager, you are often required to decide when the information is incomplete. That is just the nature of the job.

What has helped me make these decisions

I should say upfront that I am still learning here. I do not have a perfect framework. But a few things have helped me over the years:

Define your core values. Not the corporate poster ones — the real ones. What do you actually stand for? For me, honesty and fairness are non-negotiable. When I face a tough decision, I check it against those values. It does not make the decision easier emotionally, but it gives me a compass.

Understand your organization's values. These act as guardrails. If your company values transparency but you are considering hiding bad news from the team, that misalignment should be a red flag.

Accept that political cost is real. I think this is something nobody talks about honestly enough with first-time managers. Yes, standing up for the right thing can have career consequences. I have seen it happen. There is no easy answer here — you have to weigh the cost against your values and decide what you can live with. This is especially tough when you are junior and still figuring out your place. From my experience, the reputation cost of doing the wrong thing is usually worse in the long run, but I will not pretend the short-term pain is trivial.

Start small. If you are new to management, practice making smaller tough calls early. Give honest feedback when it would be easier to sugarcoat. Address a small conflict instead of hoping it resolves itself. (I explore this further in my post on guiding non-performers toward success — one of the toughest conversations a new manager faces.) These build the muscle for bigger decisions later.

Think in second and third-order consequences. This one I learned from reading Ray Dalio. Every decision has immediate consequences, but the real test is what happens after that — and after that. The immediate consequence of not promoting my friend was an awkward few months. The second-order consequence was that the team trusted my judgment more. The third-order consequence was that when I eventually did promote someone, it meant something.

The uncomfortable truth

Making tough decisions based on your values will not make you popular with everyone. Some people will disagree with you. Some will be hurt. I have to admit, there have been times when I second-guessed myself for months after a decision. But I have also learned that teams can sense integrity. When your people know that you will be honest and fair — even when it is hard — they trust you more. And trust is the foundation everything else is built on.

It is not easy. But I think it is the most important skill a manager can develop.

What is the toughest decision you have had to make as a manager? I am genuinely curious how others navigate this.

Cheers,

Chandler